Bret Rock

AAAYYYYEEEEEE! *points finger at you with both hands*


Charismatic to a fault, Bret Rock likes the high life. He makes friends fast wherever he goes. Sleeping at inns and hotels is a special kind of hell to him, you’ll find him at the most expensive house in town where ever he goes.

Despite what people seem to think, he does not have “sugar mommas” in every town he visits, he just makes friends very quickly. Sometimes those friends come with benefits, and that’s just a bonus.

Bret is a devoted follower of the Church of The Fonz. It was here that he learned to stay cool, like The Fonz.

Recently, out of jealousy of Chris’ raven familiar, Bret took a fly as his pet, and named him Brundle. Brundle Fly is a normal fly. He will not attack, defend, scout, follow orders or do anything that a normal fly would not do. However, he follows Bret wherever he goes, for reasons only another fly could understand.

After the destruction of the necromancer, Bret finds himself wandering the town, looking for direction. The Fonze is silent. He hears rumors of some trouble in the mage’s college, some new travelers picking fights. He decides to check in on this tomorrow, maybe drag young Chris with him. The next day, as he walks to the headquarters of the newly created Borrowers Club, he hears a sound from behind. Like sand falling through a glass. As it gets louder, he turns to see people screaming, running.
A wave of sand appears, growing, flowing, destroying and burying everything in it’s path. Bret begins to cast a shield spell, but before he can raise his hands, he is enveloped. Sand enters his mouth, fills his lungs. Everything goes black, his body being crushed from all sides.
Bret awakens. he’s floating on water. No land in site. Hours pass, Bret starts to worry, he doesn’t remember escaping the wall of sand, doesn’t know how he got to this water. Finally, Bret spies movement on the horizon. Hope becomes dread as the movement reveals itself to be hundreds of dorsal fins. Sharks. Hundreds of sharks. Bret realizes he is bleeding, driving them into a frenzy. They begin to circle him, drawing closer, cutting off any possibility of escape.
Then, as the sharks draw closer, a new sound is heard. The motor of a boat! It comes closer at a speed almost unbelievable. At the last second, before the boat hits the frenzied school of sharks, the boat turns. A man is following the boat, holding onto a rope, riding water skis. A shark breaks the surface, trying to jump over it’s fellows to get to Bret, the man uses the shark as a ramp, and leaves the surface of the water. Flying through the air, the man reaches down, effortlessly lifting Bret from the shark-infested waters.

“Be cool,” the Fonze whispers into Bret’s ear. Holy music fills the air, greeting Bret as they approach the holy Diner, Arnold’s, “Goodbye grey sky, hello blue, there’s nothing can hold me when I hold you. feels so right you can’t be wrong, rockin’ and rollin’ all week long.”

Bret Rock

From Chainmail to D&D Next ssurber mattbmeyer